Friday, December 26, 2014

everything in this world

 "there shouldn’t be anything wrong in chasing what you really believe in for and never ever belittle yourself and bother yourself with what others think about you. Its really important to have self confidence and love yourself first before you can expect someone to love you back. And also sometimes you will not always get what u want in life but there’s really no choice if u really did what you could do and never ever leave any regrets never cos its bad"

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

i want go beach

oh my ahahahaha i realise i have a second account for all my social media. What is this double life man.

Well some things are just meant to be kept private. Or stored away until the right time comes. Which may never ever come because opening an un-healed wound is fucking painful. So just put a plaster over it and know that it exists but not give it the chance to hurt you.

So many changes this year. SO MANY.

to me, the most important change has been myself. But it has been happening so fast sometimes I don't even know who i am, like i am just an observer of this person living my life cause so many changes happening so fast that i can't even comprehend whats going on anymore ahhhh omg this sounds damn weird but idk how to explain it. 

ok main gist: lost. 

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Hi guys. Haha im in such a weird mood. Just a lot of thoughts and reflections recently.

People. Such queer things aren't we all. I think I have finally accepted that people come and go, nothing I can do about it except make the best of each moment and live in the present. That is such a valuable lesson omg.

I just never expected the huge impact some people have made.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Attractive people who know how to move OMG

OMFG been spending so much time just spam watching DEREK HOUGH. omgomgomgomg. So darn attractive. And holy shit DWTS is just hotness everywhere seriously all the pros are beyond this world.


Monday, November 10, 2014

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"

Last night after impromptu bbq dinner with my parents we were stuck in the rain. The place is quite near home, but its damn ulu so there is no shelter or bus stop. And it was damn heavy storm so the minute you stepped out you would be completely soaked. My parents wanted to wait for a cab, but we were all drenched already so like why not just walk home.

hahahah i realise i have never actually calmly walked in the rain before. And it was damn liberating. i rly wanted to stay outside and just sit in the rain and maybe dance like those movie scenes haha.


Today was a just a bleh day. PJs at home all day. Until it was time for ballet. Those 2 hours were the only time I actually felt alive thankgod. But the new dance is q sad and the music has been stuck in my head and idk ughhhhhhhhhh

Saturday, November 8, 2014

swollen eyebags

Can't believe the amount of shit that happened in just a few days. Starting from the weekend.

Sunday started out so beautiful. Played badminton properly after damn long and sweated like crazy. Looking at the kids having training made me miss the trainings I used to have before I prioritised ballet. I definitely don't regret that choice, but still so many what ifs. then went all the way to ntu just to eat ramen hahah. Ballet was intense I really really need to up my stamina game. At night I had fast food adventure with the cousins!! Haha we went to this Halloween maze thing at jcube and i was legit scared. But after that we went to get macs and on the way to the carpark we passed by burger king so we got more fast food hahahaha damn pig. 

Anw, stupid crap was already happening but it just kept getting more intense. AND SHIT WENT DOWN on monday. omg i hated it why did it have to happen????? I thought we got it under control but no monday night was when it seriously got real. Like skype session until 3am kind of real. 

UGH at least tues was toned-down. Rehearsed op in the morning then the rest of the group went home while I went to lepak with class because if I went home I will sleep and get nothing done. Panicked abit on tues night but I was freaking tired so in the end I just gave up and went to sleep.

Woke on on wed feeling damn nervous, but I think my presentation went okay. Anw its over so no point thinking about it. Was on high alert the whole morning during op, and felt sososososo drained. I think my eyebags reached a new level that day hahaha main man couldn't believe eyebags could be so bruised and swollen. But class buffet YAY OMG my first buffet after 6 years??? kbbq was ok but i think i eat buffet rly not worth cause always eat the cheap stuff hahahaha but so fun with the class. We ended up bbq-ing oranges hahahahh they turned out edible okayyy.

Anw wed was also jasmine's bday i shall dedicate a separate post to that and also because I want go sleep toodles

Saturday, November 1, 2014

61 days til 2015

Perpetually dumbfounded by time.

Cannot procrastinate anymore. And this time i mean it. 2 months later im gonna look back and feel relieved and prepared and ready and healthy, not panicked and guilty and fat. 

So many things i hate currently, so i just have to change those things. I know i shouldn't let the number on the scale or the alphabets on the piece of paper dictate my life, but ughhhh i just hatehatehate them. Everything has been on a downwards slope this year, but hopefully i have reached the lowest point. It shall be uphill from now on!!! 

On another note, let me tell you about my day yesterday because i am on a long bus ride to orchard hahah. Pw is such a waste of time reached school at 11 and we only ran through once at 330 eeee im gonna be so glad to see the end of it next friday. but thankgod for friends. Lunch with a random bunch of classmates hehe.
And there was movie to look forward to yayyy. Watched Love, Rosie with jasmine and omg i love these type of romcoms hahaha :) read the book earlier this year and both book and movie damn good!! It really puts life and fate into perspective idk although its a happy ending but all those missed chances and all those what ifs :( 

Then i went for ballet and everybody abit siao so class was damn funny but dancing damn fail hahah need to up game.

Reached home at 10+ and argued with mum about blood groups hahaha. We googled in the end and i win HA my blood group AB is the rarest only less than 5% of the population pls. 

After that i rolled onto the sofa and fell asleep. Still wearing my tights and leo and hair still in bun. My mum claims she tried to wake me up but i woke up at 330 am cause the bun pin was poking my head. Went back to sleep at 4 and woke up at 11 just now wooow havent slept so much in damn long super shiok ok my late friends are finally reaching this has been fun bye

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

we will sleep when we are dead


hahahahaha it all started the night before the first op consult. At 8pm qk received a text saying op consult was the next day!!! so the whole class just started panicking and i downloaded Skype to discuss pw. But somehow pw didn't happen, and I ended up skyping the confused kids. UNTIL 530AM. YEAH 6 HOURS! INTENSE SKYPE SESSION OMG. And obv we all damn dead the next day. Just keep ditching pw to lepak in seminar room hahaha such slackers.

And since that night I have been skyping so much omg. SKYPE OVER SLEEP YEA. even though I keep falling asleep while skyping ahahah I'm sorry main man.

Well post-promos has just been pwpwpwpwpw. Although theres supposed to be school but we just keep ponning lectures omg I am under damn bad influence. Getting so sick of pw but JUST ONE MORE WEEK!!! But sometimes q fun la. Especially if our groups colonise the same place hahahah. And all the fun class dinners hehehe.

OMG and the whole of this afternoon. Cause tuesday our early day so we went out for class lunch @18chefs with 8 ppl. It was damn eventful sia. Then we went back and lepaked at the theatre for the rest of the day AHAHAHA it was damn freaking funny. So many things can happen in the dark hehehe. Esp with all the raging hormones omg it felt so good just chilling and laughing.

Life has been fun, but there has also been some serious shit going on. Especially during results day omg i don't even wanna rmb it. But while there has been plenty of smiles and laughter, there hasn't been a lack of tears and worries HAIYA LIFE.

OK I am soooo grateful for my big rainbow :) That one afternoon I spent with her was so enlightening omg idk what I would do without her. And the shiok maki + shopping was damn good. thank you bby <3

Wahhh typing that made me even more nostalgic for the rg days :( All the tweets the whole night have been bringing back memories and I just cannot grasp the concept of time flying by. And looking through old pics!! 

This is why I end up sleeping at 2 everyday (even though I legit planned to sleep at 10) and end up with swollen eyebags. 

Sunday, October 5, 2014


PROMOS ARE OVERRRRR. and i can finally lie in bed watching videos at 2am after doing nothing for the whole day.

But I dont feel as liberated as I should be. It ended damn badly with Physics paper. Felt sosososo shitty during the paper and like a failure afterwards :( Didn't even have mood to celebrate the temporary freedom hahahah after every paper we would just sit in the canteen and realise there is no hope for us but pray for 2 magical passes. 


Post-promos lunch with half the class was fun HEHE have missed having normals convos with them instead of always talking about acads and pw ewww. After eating everyone dispersed except for a few of us who just wanted to hobo. Like I didn't even realise we had walked into the mrt station and suddenly people were saying BYE and I was so confused cause I had nowhere to go and people were boarding the train already and everyone was everywhere so I felt like a lost and confused kid, but yay at least got others in the same boat as me. 

SO WE BROUGHT HOBOING TO THE NEXT LEVEL HAHAHA. First we sat at the mrt station for a while, then gillian had to go collect passport, so we decided to all go to ICA. Met gillian's mum and apparently she thought the UN-SHUAI GE was cute?? HAHA SRSLY. Talked a bit at ICA but then we found chesna's p3 blogs and couldnt stop laughing and kept getting stared at so we moved to bugis. Sat outside the library and saw paul twohill hahahaah.  unshuaige got ditched by og so we had dinner tgt + macs ice cream omg 2 days in a row that guilt. Thennn at 9pm I went to nex to satisfy smoothie craving & meet my darling hahaa tingwei wanted to meet after that if only there were midnight trains omg imagine that. 

Are we cute or cute

First day in whoknowshowlong waking up without an alarm! such a nice feeling :))) Supposed to have og outing but that morning itself still no plans aiyoh fail. Anw finally can watch dramas again YAYYYY. started Against the Tide omg its damn interesting and ruien is damn good and desmond is damn hot <3 Late lunch at Orchard wheeee tingwei approves of the indonesian bbq that im always craving hehehe that stuff is legit. wanted to watch Annabelle but 2 people too scary cannot handle. Didn't plan on shopping but i walked past F21 and only walked out 2 hours later hahahaha pls understand i haven't shopped in damn long. Went to gillian's house after that just because idk I could. Yknow that carefree feeling of being able to spend your time however you wanted with no burdens wahhh damn shiok. Went home to change phone!!! IM IN LOVE. 

PW lecture BOOO. But it the morning we could finally sit at our table without papers and notes!! Talked about Annabelle hahaha got me damn scared and excited at the same time. pw is just a burden. But during the break we managed to htht a bit HAHAHA. okok highlight of the day is ANNABELLE. omg my first legit horror in the cinema. how do i even describe this. Some parts were damnnnn scary and the sound effects just made it worse. I spent a lot of time hiding behind my jacket and watching the corner of the screen hahah cannot take it. Sitting beside qirong DIDN'T HELP. that idiot keep anyhow scaring then i would legit jump cause already damn paranoid. But the boyboy beside him damn funny HAHAHAH. 

Spent the whole day on my laptop and procrastinating the cleaning of my room. I wanna lie in the sun but weather is being a bitch. Stared PLL 5 and im just getting more and more confused by that show sian. Supposed to go out for dinner but guess what I fell asleep hahaha shit my life. Woke up and finally started cleaning my room. So now at least can see some of the floor plus the whole of my bed some progress better than no progress!! 

Havent exercised in sooooo long totally lost the drive. Okay fitspo time lets look at hot people. 

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Junk is for dustbin

Omg just had my second macs meal of this year and i feel so grossed out. Haha this is good news cause this means im getting sick of fast food. Rmb when i used to treat myself to kfc once a week wow so glad im done w that shit.

But idk what food i like now? I can never decide what to eat like i could walk around for an hour looking at all the restaurant's menus and nothing seems appealing hahaha.

Sian lovehate relationship with food still going strong. And i keep watching weight loss shows they are damn amazing and motivational hahahah. Esp extreme weight loss that is some hardcore stuff like the ppl actually lose half their body weight HALF!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2014


HAHAHAHA. Ya they do call it study break. Like break for you to study. STUDY and BREAK dont go tgt gdi.

Okay I think I going cray alr. YKNOW WHY?


I woke up at 830 cause helentan say must wake early if not later exam day 8am brain still havent wake up THEN DIE. Model student right here man.

And then I debated whether I was going to look presentable or homeless. Decided on homeless. So shirt on fbts on hair up slippers on. Then I left the house. And I realised I forgot to bring jacket. Debated whether it was worth it to go back. Decided wasting a few mins better than freezing my ass off later. So i went back took my jacket and left again. AND STILL CAUGHT THE BUS! HECK YA.

(omg since when do i blog like this. send help. pls.)

SO. I reached coffee bean and it empty and quiet, just how i like it WHOOP. Bought breakfast and drink and settled down and.....


Yeah, i know, wtf.

I was gonna stay for 14 hours but by 9pm my back pain throat pain eyes pain. So fuck this, my health more important.

It would have been great had I actually been productive. But no, I legit think I became dumber this year. It takes me damn long to understand and remember and apply. There is so much shit that I still dont get and idk how I am going to pass promos (lets not even talk about A levels i beg you).

HAIYA when will i ever learn to start being more consistent throughout the year instead of always panicking last minute and just hecking everything in the end.

okok NO RAGRETS. Lets hope for a better STUDY BEAK DAY 2.

mug steady
mug strong
mug smart

(I came up with that myself ISNT IT SO COOL) okay yuexin stop daydreaming plsplspls

Saturday, September 20, 2014


Talked with the pimp yesterday and wow. Lets everything turns out fine for everyone in the end.

For the next one and a half weeks, I am going to throw aside everything else and just focus on my acads. I know I can do this!

So for now, I shall leave all my thoughts here, store them away, and clear out space in my brain for more important stuff.

Yup, thats the end of it. The time I end this post is the time I stop letting stuff bother me.

So in..




Thursday, September 18, 2014

Why relationships so confusing

Omfg so much thoughts and nowhere to let loose. 

What happened this afternoon WAS SO DAMN UNEXPECTED AND INTENSE. And it happened so suddenly like whoa i was NOT prepared for this at all. Just because i happened to be there omg like what if i had not sat there

So much deep stuff but i focus on the person thinking about the stuff instead of the actual stuff itself?!? 

Hahaha why am i always so overwhelemed by stuff like this. Why people so deep IDGI or am i just too shallow

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Happy thoughts :)

Every week is cray week. So much happening too fast!!

Ohgosh I feel so bipolar.
Cannot make up my mind about how I feel, but I know I can't let go of my optimism.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Take me back to primary school

Can't remember the last time i went home when the sun was still up. 

Its currently 1pm and it feels sososososo nice to be on the bus, headphones plugged in, sun high up in the sky, the whole afternoon stretching out ahead mmmmm 

I think Tuesdays are now my favourite school days :)

Sunday, July 20, 2014

"It is so easy to forget how precious it is to be alive"

Hair for Hope on friday was damn intense. I have soooooo much admiration for everyone who shaved their heads, especially all the girls OMG all of you are such beautiful humans.


HAHAHAHHA we just stood there and waited for someone to ask if we wanted a photo HAHAHAHHA

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Since when did it get so hard to smile

I don't think I have ever ever felt as low as I did today. All the pent-up stress and fustrations. The cui-ness of school and life. Feeling so damn alone. Dreading and counting down. The general sadness lingering in the air.


I felt so empty, and had sambal fish w curry for dinner so that the spice will at least fill up my tummy. And just so I could add on stomach burn to my heart ache. Thank god for understanding friends; don't know what I would do without them. I took the red line home from Bishan to Bt Batok, one nice long empty train ride. I thought so much, and talked a little. Hahahha actually its quite funny looking back now, when 2 ppl who are both feeling damn shitty just keep sighing at and for each other. Still, its always nice to know there's another person who's got your back :)

I did what I always do when things get overwhelming: a long sweaty jog can never go wrong. But I think today I didn't run long enough, or hard enough, or maybe it was just the spicy food.

Still can't get over it.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Eating is essential to living

Phew finally able to go for a jog without formulas and facts swimming about in my head. Today I just let my mind wander, and it felt like such a nice escape.

Post-CTs weekend break is half over (BREAK TOO SHORT WALAO). Crazy crazy week. but at least I only had to wake up early twice. Exam week also means A LOT of stress eating. And here are  some of the nicer food in order of being eaten.

Green apple SOGURT on Tuesday. When I went to the pool after my brain died from morning physics paper.

Banana waffle at CBTL on wednesday. When I tried to study chem. WHICH WAS USELESS CAUSE THE PAPER WAS THE HARDEST PAPER I HAVE EVER SAT FOR.

After chem when we lost all hope for passing any subject. So we went to udders and pigged out.

POST-CTs CELEBRATION at Old School WOOOHOOO. Went there with the gang and guess what my half my class came trooping in OOPS.
We think we cute CAUSE WE REALLY CUTE :)

SOGURT again HAHAHA. We went at around 4 and the next time I looked at the time is was already 7?!?! SO CONTENTED :)

Then yesterday while nua-ing in the canteen, kelly was watching Autumn's Concerto AND NOW I AM SO ADDICTED. and holy shit vanness wu damn hot how did i not know of his existence.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Stay-at home-cation

For the past week I have distanced myself from the real world. Sort of like going overseas but not really?

The only people I went out with besides my parents were my cousins. Quite grateful for all our little getaways actually. We watched Maleficent and had pepper lunch, been bowling twice and to the trampoline park twice.

My campsite AKA coffee bean is under going renovation so I had to find a new place to sit for long hours so that I can be just a bit more productive than being on youtube all day long at home. And change is good. oh yes it is. LOOK AT THIS NEW PLACE I FOUND. I can't believe I haven't been spending every free moment here. ITS DAMN LEGIT.

paradise within walking distance


I feel like I have been on a one-week vacation, minus the dance lessons and sleeping on my own bed. But I guess its back to reality tmr  today.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Fill your heart with LOVE

So thankful for June hols.

I have been thinking a lot (mostly when I should be STUDYING OH WELL).
About all the decisions I have made,
all the choices I am going to have to make,
trying to confront my emotions but realising I am really really unsure,
how the heck does one find a balance between work and play,
looking back at all the wonderful memories made in Raffles,
feeling so damn nostalgic,
but realizing majority of those whom I love are still by my side,
being really thankful for all the constants,
and reminding myself to appreciate everything and everyone.

Alrighty, in other words, I am REALLY LOOKING FORWARD to watch TFIOS. Tbh, I didn't really feel very strongly about the book, but I guess all the hype has gotten me damn excited. AND THE TRAILER OH MY GOD THE TRAILER!!!! I think we're going to be a mess during the movie but its just so beautiful and tragic.

Idk but recently I had had such a different outlook on love. As in true romantic love. I think its from seeing it land upon those around me that has made me realise how FREAKING SWEET AND ADORABLE that such pure innocent love can be AWWWWHHH <3

Monday, March 17, 2014

The day I turned SEVENTEEN


My darling's midnight wish totally made my whole day! I'm even more damn grateful for you, darling <3

School got off to a sweet start cause of Chewy Juniors from TMY!!! Can't believe we have spent 4+++ years together THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING :)

Then morning celebration with the ALWAYS AMAZING FAMily+415.
DA GANG! (sorry excuse morning small eyes)

First lesson was PE but it was gym-ming so ok la. LOL the girls started singing birthday song in the middle of our treadmill workout HAHA we are 2cool4skool.
Shoutout to Blazer my birthday twin! At least I didn't feel old on my own.

I feel honoured being in your facebook dp

Then lessons lessons blahblahblah. Assembly was quite joke it was some Chinese Orchestra session, and my CO classmate was just sleeping but Mantou's texts were like OMG I KNOW THIS SONG hahahahaha.

During lunch I talked with so many people cause my birthday balloon was an eye-catcher HEHE THANKS GUYS.
And thennn my day got even sweeter cause COOKIES! Thanks la :)
Fatness concealed in a pretty box

CCA prac with less than half the people cause everyone else was going for dancefeste. It turned out to be more like a drama class? I CAN'T ACT HELP.
Another shoutout to my other birthday twin Way! The first year we knew each other we were turning 13, and now are 17 (I REALLY FEEL VERY OLD)

What happened after CCA and before dinner was so confusing. I think they wanted to watch abit of dancefeste before leaving, but then the emcee was like WE GONNA LOCK THE DOORS YO so we had to zao before anything legit even started. I didn't really get what was going on HAHAHA just followed the crowd. And KEEP CALM AND TAKE PHOTOS.
KYM I miss you guys (btw I love this order such symmetry :P)

Dinner at Swensens with the OG YAY. It was damn fun and hilarious :D Except my flowers got abit squashed (DON'T WORRY guys my mum managed to revive them).
Chicken teriyaki pasta (mum say must eat noodles this counts right)

We moved up to rooftop and kelly and clarissa my bbys came to join :) Another round of celebration with angry birds cake! Jackie damn fail though he wanted to face-smash the cake as revenge for me whip-creaming his face last time, but his plan SUCKED and it never came through thank god.
The late-night survivors


(But is everyone in on a mission to get me fat, cause cupcakes & chewy juniors & cakes & ice cream)

Tuesday, March 4, 2014


Walao what sort of shitty mood have I been in this whole night.

This is not the way to spend my last few hours of being 16. EEEEEEEEEEEE a 17 year old wouldn't spend her time being upset over little things. Time is too precious for that. Okay I shall change my mindset by the next hour :)

Sunday, March 2, 2014


JC life is so hectic omg. SO MANY PEOPLE SO MANY LESSONS SO MANY EVENTS. Its quite overwhelming actually I dont even know what Im staying back for everyday. IS GOSSIP SESSION LEGIT REASON??? HAHAHA but damn fun la :)

I cant remember half the stuff that has happened CAUSE EVERYDAY IS SUPER HAPPENING.

But I shall try...

I am proud to announce my OG is still alive! We have a morning table hahaha but everybody comes damn late.

First OG birthday celebration was a success. WHIPPED CREAM!!!! I think we have excellent planning and coordination HAHAHA jackie was so unsuspecting.

That day of external activities was super hilarious

OG! Idk what we are pointing at?

During Take5 when we had a picnic!
And I became fat cause cookies with 2 sticks of butter.
And I became even fatter cause free chewy junior and snacks

Next up, my new class! That takes lots of selfies everywhere. AND WE ARE GOING TO OPHIR.
the 10 girls of S06G :)
And the boys still having PE :)

We went to the library just to take selfies.
Also, caitlin is the official class selfie taker.

I keep meeting new people cause friends of friends of friends will reunite in the canteen or somewhere in the humongous school.

BUT. Old friends are HERE TO STAY!

With the gang during take5
But its getting hard to take complete picture:(


Entre group back at RG
The new pinafore colour is urgh


Sunday brunch from last week YUM 
I FELL ON MY KNEE AGAIN. IT WAS  DAMN BAD WALAO.  It has taken 3 weeks to heal siannnn

I posted this on We Heart It and it got like 400 likes HAHAHA such a hipster