Tuesday, May 21, 2013


Yesterday afternoon while I was dying of heat in the COI holding room, apparently a lot of things happened.

Things that truly surprised me.
And not necessarily in a good way.

I realise that its one thing to judge strangers on the surface, but another to just make assumptions on people I have known for more than just a few years.

People change. And people grow. But as we gain more knowledge, its inevitable for things to become more complicated.

A lot of times when people come to me with their problems, I feel inadequate. I tell myself its okay if I cannot offer a solution. Maybe all they need is a listening ear and someone to care and love them.

But is that really enough? Merely listening?

I think deep down I know that's not enough. That I should somehow find a solution.

Even if I don't have faith in myself, I trust us. We are supposed to be the strongest. Even if the results are saying otherwise, I believe this last spurt is all they need.
I just need them to gain back the confidence they had at the beginning of the year, the confidence that I would never even  have dared to possess, the confidence that assured us so much, the confidence that no goal was unachievable.
I don't know where their confidence has gone to, or even where their hearts and souls have gone to. Hopefully, that was just a temporary thing.
And even though we don't say it or necessarily show it, they really mean a lot to us. They are all we are going to have, and we want to leave feeling satisfied.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Guess which badass went running in the rain

It was quite cool having the whole road to myself. Now my mood has been significantly lifted. Time to watch some tv! :) Ooohh can I just add yesterday on tv I saw 3 hot bodies. 3! Okay fine lah only 2 were hot, but yay media is becoming more open (y)

'There is a difference between giving up and knowing you have had enough'

Today was a horrible day :(

Before the start of the bio paper when we were checking the number of pages, the whole class just started laughing because the paper looked damn hard and we knew that we were so screwed that there was nothing to do but laugh at our own screwd-ness.

At least lunch with the gang took my mind off some matters.

Gave myself the rest of the day off because I need to recuperate from today's horrible things before another round of hardcore mugging starts.

I really want to go for a run. Run all my energy away. But nothing likes me today, its raining.

Sunday, May 5, 2013


I was deluded into thinking the only stressful thing this week is the 3 F-ing papers on Tuesday. ENGLISH (genetic engineering better be easy to write, otherwise I am screwed). PHYSICS (It looks easy on the surface, but the you realise HOLY SHIT). BIO (I just want to give up on this.)

Then I realised that nope thats not how other teachers see it.
So I have to write a malay compo by tomorrow, since it was actually due on Friday.
Then there is 3 hours on philo this week. With 2 hours of his face. Its like life is not letting me escape his face. And 1 hour of philo exam, which apparently you are supposed to study for.
Math Assignment. (IM STUCK ON SOME ln question HELP)
Chem Assignment.
And OMG Sunday is Mothers' Day. The same day my mom is flying back from USA after 3 months. Which means I have to prepare some sort of present. And I want to buy a cake. But to buy a cake you have to go to the mall. And me+mall=not a good idea during the busiest period of term.
And ballet lessons resume this week. Taking up my Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. How nice.

So survive this week and I'm good? NO.

The following week:
Philo (AGAIN WTF) COI on monday
SS AA proposal due latest latest Friday.
Malay exam on Friday.
Then ATC.

And then the CmPS craziness will start. WAILLLLLLLL. (At least the prospect of USA will be such a driving force for us)

I just want time to read Mockingjay and Beach Blondes. Books I have been meaning to read since 2 years ago. Can everything else please just go away.

Time seems so much longer when your night ends at 2am instead of 10pm. Yet the work left to be done seems to never decrease.

Just now when I went to buy dinner this weird dude came up to me and asked me if I liked apples. It was damn WEIRD. I was going up from 2nd to 3rd level, and he was coming down. Then when I was on the next escalator from 3rd to 4th floor he suddenly ran up next to me. WHY DO I ATTRACT WEIRD PEOPLE THIS IS NOT COOL.

Please try not to be surprised if I start swearing in front of you. I am seriously losing it. And I have been under bad influence. Very few people have actually heard me swear, but at times like this I don't give a F. (wow I amaze myself with my decency to at least keep it to acronyms when I can)