Tuesday, May 21, 2013


Yesterday afternoon while I was dying of heat in the COI holding room, apparently a lot of things happened.

Things that truly surprised me.
And not necessarily in a good way.

I realise that its one thing to judge strangers on the surface, but another to just make assumptions on people I have known for more than just a few years.

People change. And people grow. But as we gain more knowledge, its inevitable for things to become more complicated.

A lot of times when people come to me with their problems, I feel inadequate. I tell myself its okay if I cannot offer a solution. Maybe all they need is a listening ear and someone to care and love them.

But is that really enough? Merely listening?

I think deep down I know that's not enough. That I should somehow find a solution.

Even if I don't have faith in myself, I trust us. We are supposed to be the strongest. Even if the results are saying otherwise, I believe this last spurt is all they need.
I just need them to gain back the confidence they had at the beginning of the year, the confidence that I would never even  have dared to possess, the confidence that assured us so much, the confidence that no goal was unachievable.
I don't know where their confidence has gone to, or even where their hearts and souls have gone to. Hopefully, that was just a temporary thing.
And even though we don't say it or necessarily show it, they really mean a lot to us. They are all we are going to have, and we want to leave feeling satisfied.

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