Finally some enlightenment wooowww i think i have decided.... 

'NO TURNING BACK' tbh best advice i have heard!! 

vroom vroom

just went for early morning driving lesson and wahhh the instructor so cool. I was telling him he rly looked like my friend (QK HAHA)  and I said my friend v handsome then he ask why nvr go for him hahahahah 'its complicated'.

Started raining towards the end of the lesson and i jokingly asked him to send me home and HE DID. omg nvr knew they provided this kind of service. And there was only a few mins left so he zoooooomed through the streets and broke so many traffic rules and honked at the slow cars HAHA but wow mad driving skills

Then before I got off the car he said in his 7 years of teaching I was the one he shared the most with  and that he was thankful to have been assigned to my lesson and THAT MADE MY DAY :)))

its just....it sucks to be on this side of the fence. and to be constantly reminded of it :(((((((
"Idk where my happiness disappeared to. It just poofed"

coincidence. when everything comes crashing down AT ONCE. when all my failures are enlarged and highlighted and slapped in my face. Everything I thought I was, I sucked at being. Nowhere, and no one, to turn to.

gotta keep reminding myself: the grass is greener where you water it.

What an utterly emotionally-draining day. Alot of pent-up unhappiness just threatening to spill over. You can either choose to work through this or gtfo now. Personally, i wish you wouldnt be a coward but ohhooo u have rly taught me the meaning of disappointment.