ok so some thoughts.
Had a bad ballet lesson on sun, which hasn't happened in q long but shit it sucks. idk if its because i missed the prev 2 lessons, or maybe im just not cut out to learn all the advanced stuff. really starting to question whether i made the right choice in hanging on to dance. In sec 4 i considered quitting because thats the age most ppl stop to concentrate on studies, but not having the burden of o levels allowed me to continue. then last year i considered again, and i told myself ok just one more year. this year april was supposed to be my final dance, my swan song, with the perfect closure of the last graded exam. BUT i couldn't bear the thought of life without the weekly double/triple lessons and so i didn't stop. tbh there is no purpose in me continuing, since it would take me more than a year to even be slightly ready for the advanced exams. i think this is just me delaying my farewell to dance. So many things have changed in my life, but dance has always been a constant. A source of familiarity and comfort. Its part of my routine to go into that studio twice a week and just leave everything else outside the door. its been part of my life for the past 10 years.
how. how do i just let go.
and also today i finally got down to cleaning up my room. i was putting away my bday stuff (ya i know its been 3months haahahah) so i opened the box that i put all my past letters in and wahhhhh all the memories and reminders of what once was. omg my heart almost couldn't handle it. ok i cant describe the feeling but heres a quote that i think is nice to remember
"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened"