You know what just happened? I had 3 whole paragraphs ranting about exams and ballet and stress. But then, I backspaced everything.
It felt quite good watching the words disappear one by one, under my command, right in front of my eyes.
And I really don't want to just keep complaining about everything. I want to appreciate things, be grateful for things, and be happy with my life.
I say happy, not contented. There is a difference. If one becomes contented, one would stop improving. Thus, one should not be fully-contented with everything. But it would be great if one could find happiness in everything.
Life would never be perfect. But life wouldn't even go near perfection if you don't appreciate it.
Yes, ballet lessons may be thrice a week, and taking up a bit more time that I would like it to. But all these years, ballet is the only enrichment I have not given up on. I have stopped badminton, stopped erhu, stopped art, taken breaks from piano; but ballet, it has never stopped being part of my life ever since I started taking lessons. And the only reason is because I don't want it to stop being part of my life . True, there are stressful exams, extreme stretching, impossible moves that somehow need to become possible, sore muscles, bruised joints...; but ballet allows me to find something within myself, something that even I can't describe. Is it inner peace? Expression of my thoughts? I don't know, but what I do know is that ballet deserves all the time I spend on it.
Oh shit that took me way too long. I don't have the luxury of time to pen down more points with such elaborate elaborations. Just a quick list of things I am grateful for:
1. My mum for allowing me to take a break from piano lessons.
2. CCA standdown
4. Yummy food from steamboat party in the morning